So here it is, the first part that I originally submitted to r/writing_prompts and how the idea for all this began.
"I'm beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod
Now who thinks their arms are long enough to slap box, slap box?
Let me show you maintaining this shit ain't that hard, that hard".
As Eminem's rap god kept playing and the showering kept pouring, I started feeling the beat and began singing along, soaping and lathering myself to the beat.
I regret that. To this day I can't wish enough for the ability to go back and beat my self silly for trying to sing along to rap god without knowing the lyrics.
Following the chorus, Eminem broke into the rap which became famous because of how goddamn fast it was. I don't know why I tried rapping especially when I didn't know the lyrics but at the time I just decided on making similar sounding noises to compensate for that.
I can't stress enough how stupid that decision was.
And immediately after starting the rap, I lost the lyrics and began mumbling along making relevant noises of gibberish. "Everybody want the key mgms mejog modsgk sdklgd lkdgsd."
In most cases I wouldn't have even tried to attempt rapping along but I was alone in the shower, the music was blasting, and, in light of recent events, I was feeling good.
God, I can't believe how dumb that was.
Suddenly I heard a large ripping noise and I was blinded by a shining white light and for a second I thought I saw a silhouette before I slipped on the bar of soap that I had dropped amongst this surprise and hit my head on the tub.
"Wake up. Wake Up Wake Up Wake Up." I heard the words repeat in a soft gentle voice as I opened my eyes. As I came to my senses I realized I was lying down next to the bathtub on the bathroom floor looking at the ceiling. I sat up to realize a light grazing sensation between my legs. Being utterly disgusted by bugs I shot up to see what was touching me only to come face to face with a girl. Looking like a highschooler she seemed no older than me, and as she stood there I realized two things immediately. One was that she was holding a golf club practicing her stroke with my golf balls as the target and two was that she was naked.
"WOAH WOAH, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I shouted in shock, blushing like a tomato, half-heartedly covering my eyes trying to avoid staring at this mysterious girl, or at least to make her think I was.
"Jeez, yell any louder and you will probably call over the whole neighborhood...... Oh and my name is Leme!." She leaned forward to extend her hand towards me.
Out of pure confusion and awkwardness, I decided to compose some normality and reached to shook her hand. As I went to shake her hands, I looked at this naked girl in my bathroom and suddenly noticed 2 things. After a few quick glances the second thing I noticed is what looked like wings protruding from her back and when I leaned forward to look at them, all of a sudden they shot out expanding and extending to a wingspan across my small bathroom.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" I shouted and before I could say anymore, Leme stood back up, straightened her back, bent her knees slightly and shouted "FORE" and swung her club back.
Once she swung her club back, I realized what was going to happen, and before I could react I saw her swing and once again everything went black.
That was literally the beginning of the 4 shittiest years of my life and the beginning of my fucking hatred for golf.